When I entered into 10th grade I had an interest in graphic design and photography and in that year I took both classes and did some of my hardest work in them. In photography I was voted to have the best picture out of the class in the three evaluations we did; in graphic design my teacher asked if I found a poster off line and copied it because he couldn’t believe that the poster I created was all original work. To be fair I had some knowledge and experience of what to do in both classes where the rest of the class didn’t, but I did work twice as hard to make everything perfect. Since then I have made website layouts for larger end companies and I have taken senior portraits for students and I have been getting paid as much as a professional does. On January 14th 2011 I took over one hundred pictures of myself, edited ten, and then posted three on my blog and on January 16th I got an email from the lead singer of a manger band that wanted me to shoot and edit pictures of their upcoming album. I had known of the band for a year or two and I have gone to their shows but I never imagined working with the guys who created music I loved and it was all thanks to the hours I put in working on not only the photo shoot by myself but also the work I had put in for the past 6 years.
In the past I have taken pictures for people they wanted their pictures to be on their business cards so they had something to show off and all I would get to do is remove unwanted acne or make them look skinnier than before. It’s always rewarding when people look at the images I edited and they smile because they “look 10 years younger” but it’s not fun for me when it gets to that point where the biggest change is hiding something all I am doing is working. When I have made websites for people they want something basic and it looks nice. They never pay me to make something graphic and bold because the businesses I have worked with do not like that sort of thing and once again my job becomes a job and it’s not fun anymore.
As I started to work with different people and different companies I started to notice a trend of “professionalism” and this is what started to turn me away from photography and graphic design. In January 2010 I started to make video’s on YouTube and once again I found people who needed a video editor, so I took the jobs. But just like in the past they wanted professional work with no creative freedom for me, the artist. On my own time during the past few years I have been doing work but also my own stuff, posting it on my blog and gathering attention from other people.
Now, I have exchanged emails with the people from the band and the management and on February 3rd I got to do the shoot with the band. I had no idea what to expect so I gathered my camera, my lens’, and my lights and packed my car and met with them at a vacant lot new Santa Rosa. When I got there it was just them and a few friends which is always intimidating because I have never been good with meeting new people and a whole crowd of ten people terrified me. So we started to shoot and the best part of the whole shoot was when the lead singer told me, “do whatever you need to do, you are our boss today.” So we shot over 600 pictures and I worked for the next few days on going through them and picking out 50 to see what they liked. When they decided what they wanted I started to edit and I am still in the process of editing.
If you asked me in 10th grade if I would ever think I would get to work with a major label band then I would probably tell you that I would but I know I would be lying. The picture I used for this essay is a picture that I will hold forever because it’s a picture that got me from having pictures on a few business cards to having pictures be on thousands of CD’s. Not only that but it could very well help my career and land me some more big jobs.
1. What is the writer�s thesis? Can you find the statement? Is it the main point the rest of the essay works to develop? Graphic design photography starting small in business cards to having pictures on thousands of CD’s.
ReplyDeleteI felt it was alittle difficult to find the thesis statement but the end gave a clear inspiration of the writer and to the thesis. I do think that a story was told very nicely but yet giving more detail in the visual of what graphic design is or the feelings behind the writer throughout the essay would help support the thesis.
2. What evidence is cited to prove and support the writer�s thesis? What pieces of evidence are cited from the readings and/or the writer�s observations to support the thesis?
The last paragraph gives great support at what I believe the writer’s message and thesis of this essay is.
“If you asked me in 10th grade if I would ever think I would get to work with a major label band then I would probably tell you that I would but I know I would be lying.” and “The picture I used for this essay is a picture that I will hold forever because it’s a picture that got me from having pictures on a few business cards to having pictures be on thousands of CD’s. Not only that but it could very well help my career and land me some more big jobs.”
3. Is the writer�s reasoning/critical thinking provided to explain how the evidence proves and supports the thesis?
I feel alittle more elaboration in detail to support the thesis is needed.
4. What else could the writer cite as evidence in this essay?
I think possibly using techniques of graphic design may have given us a good visual for not knowing what style or where the writer was going with his talent. This would have also supported the thesis better.
6. What�s strong about the essay?
I feel the writer communicated well on not having any idea this graphic design career would get to this level.
7. What other suggestions or feedback do you want to provide the writer?
Strengthen creativity in communication of how graphic design inspired you. Possibly the dedication it takes to be successful and the ability to work hard or willingness to learn this talent.
This was a great start for a draft. It was a little difficult to find your thesis at first so just make sure have a clear thesis in your paper. You also gave us this picture of how you like the idea of graphic design and making videos but yet there is no picture up to show us your creativity. I think that would help us to better understand you passion for both. You help us understand what it takes to get into this career field and that it definitely is not an easy job. But you mention a band that you're working with, what band is it? I think if you include that into your essay it'll give us (the audience) a better picture of what you're actually doing. Overall great draft, they are some grammar and punctuation mistakes but those are an easy fix.
ReplyDeleteHi Ryan,
ReplyDeleteFirst, I want to say that you sound like you are very gifted in what you do. I can feel the love that you have for photography it comes across in your essay very nicely. You write with passion. One of my questions is whose character or story are you addressing in your essay. I am also not sure what your thesis is so you might want to start there. Over all I believe you have some great stuff to share you just need to organize it.
Stacy
I agree with everyone elses statement about finding the thesis statement. You drew up a very nice rough draft. You definitely write from the heart and you can feel that in your essay. Maybe you could elaborate a little bit more on the details of your paragraphs. All and all I really enjoyed reading your essay. Thanks for sharing what comes straight from the heart.
ReplyDelete